I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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