We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
