I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
