He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
