I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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