forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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