sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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