You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
