i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
