Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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