do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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