in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
