know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
