hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just pynch a tree in the face
its not stalking. its research.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
