He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
