I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
