I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
