Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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