I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
