I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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