if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
