Buhtt sex?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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