I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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