tell your sister to shave her snatch
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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