i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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