susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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