How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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