well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
