She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
this hospital has no fireball
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
These tits shall not be calmed
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
