He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
