i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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