how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
