I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize