You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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