That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
