I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
did you just send me my own nude
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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