"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Your mouth is God's brothel.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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