i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
