Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
