do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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