I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
