I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
