mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
