one might say we're banned from that church
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize
