i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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