Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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