Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
there is another microwave in the elevator.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
