Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Small penises have feelings too.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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