the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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