Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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