I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
