Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize