he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
