You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
