I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
