You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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