Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
