Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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