she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
