Taylor Swift is so right about you.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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