i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
