So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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